https://slama.dev/comeback/
Don't pee on it. Don't worry.
I still don't get it.
Why.
Why a painting?
Don't you want to give her something practical for the wedding?
Like a blender.
Ziza and a blender?
She has teeth again.
Or a vase.
You know, a big jug without a handle.
I know what a vase is.
Why would I give that to Ziza?
Every woman likes flowers.
Yeah.
And what's she going to do with a vase?
Well, nothing then.
It's a nice piece of work anyway.
And it's named like a pub.
What?
Still life.
I just don't know what to call this still life.
Beer?
Nice one, bro!
Hold on, something's happened.
I could already feel something had happened.
They said there's enough water?
Yeah.
What's going on?
They're terrible, not people.
Look who's talking, what got into you?
Into me?
Into Roubal, wasn't it?
You started it.
But he was already filling his second bucket of water.
Here.
What's this?
Sorry, bro, it was a battle.
I'll buy you a new one.
Oh.
And I have this one half-painted.
Great.
Now that matters to you.
But grabbing a bucket and coming with us to get water, that's a no.
For water?
What if someone saw me there?
No, that's great.
Calm down.
We'll go when things settle down a bit.
They said there's plenty of water.
Right.
Exactly, when they announce there's plenty of something, that means there isn't.
Why do you think they announce it?
Propaganda.
We're living in 2010, aren't we?
Ivuska, it's always the same.
The Russians turn off the tap and we get nothing.
We don't get our water from the Russians.
From the French then, big difference.
You're talking nonsense and I'm without my jug.
You mean without your jug?
Of course, without it I'm done for.
Ozzak, the fact that you don't have a jug and the general water shortage are two incomparably different problems.
Then explain that to me.
Couldn't you just imagine the jug?
I could, and you can imagine the water.
Ozzak, you imagining a jug and the two of us imagining water is an incomparably big difference.
Well yeah, because I'd be imagining something useful.
And water isn't useful?
Well, it is.
Uncle, you can't do anything without water.
Cook, do laundry, clean.
Me?
Well, more like me.
And does that bother you?
And we also have to wash.
Why?
So we don't stink.
And do you stink?
No, but without water we will.
Well, I feel sorry for you then.
Damn it, forget it, I'm going.
Where?
To Krivonka's.
Wait, you won't even help us when the next tanker comes?
No.
But you can imagine it.
I'm calling those French people.
What?
Can I speak Czech?
I see.
Well, okay then.
I wanted to ask if there's enough water.
There is.
Then why isn't there any here?
The tanker is empty.
Right, they're working on it.
Okay, and roughly when can we expect it?
Right now?
Wonderful, thank you.
And au revoir.
Oui, oui.
So what?
She complimented my French.
What about the tanker?
They're working on it.
Didn't you tell me the other day that when they say they're working on something, it means it'll never happen?
Propaganda again.
I hope not.
I need to wash my hair.
Hold on, that can wait, can't it?
There's school photos tomorrow, I'm not going there looking like a mess.
Or should I go to the hairdresser?
Hairdressers are only there to take money from you for something you can do yourself.
Isn't that propaganda?
Right.
Bye.
Hi.
How come I didn't see you at the tanker?
What tanker?
Downstairs in front of the building, the water's out.
Oh, we didn't know.
We're only allowed to use water on Thursdays.
Mom says wasting water kills walruses.
Why walruses?
Because they need water, so less water means fewer walruses.
And I love walruses.
I hate walruses.
Lexa!
What, they're everywhere, they poop on statues and spread ticks.
Those are pigeons, Lexa.
That boy confuses walruses with pigeons?
In second grade, Lexa cut up his biology textbook into a memory game and then glued it back together wrong.
Since then he confuses birds and pinnipeds.
Sis, you're such a huge lazy butt!
Lexa!
Then don't say stuff like that.
What, isn't it true?
It's total nonsense.
Yeah, I'm just a chicken butt then, right?
Sorry then.
Ivo, could I borrow your umbrella tomorrow for the photos?
Is it going to rain?
No, but the photographer will want to put me behind Kruta again.
So I wanted to at least hold up an umbrella so people can see where I'm standing.
How about we take a photo together?
Sure.
Just the two of us.
I don't know, because of the walruses.
Do you need water for a photo?
Lots of it.
A photo isn't wasting, a photo is a keepsake.
And don't tell me your mom doesn't have at least one photo of you in her wallet.
She doesn't.
But she already has a spot saved for one.
So get your photo taken together and give it to her.
But we can't, we have to wait until we're eighteen to get photos.
Why?
So mom has something to remember us by when we leave home.
I think I'll go check if they've brought another tanker.
I hope people won't act like vultures again.
The one with the swordfish snout.
Vultures, right?
That's heavy.
I don't have another one.
So what am I supposed to do now?
Paint something else.
She already has teeth.
They promised each other engagement teeth instead of rings.
Krakora was always a cheapskate.
Yeah, well.
Ziza sure is a clever girl though.
Landing the best bartender in all of Zizkov?
That's a jackpot.
He's weird.
I think he waters down the beer.
You're jealous.
I'm not jealous!
So what, are you sulking?
She betrayed us.
Who?
Me, Pitl and Metlos.
We once promised each other we'd drink together through thick and thin.
And now she's moving to the country.
So you'll visit her.
That's hard, Krakora is insanely jealous.
She had to promise him she wouldn't drink with her exes.
He hates me the most.
Oh dear.
So you were her first, huh?
Yeah.
Her alcohol addiction started with me.
Hello.
Could I stash something here?
Some hot goods?
More like cold.
For how long?
Just briefly.
It's quality merchandise.
In short supply.
You said that about those carp too, and they've been sitting in my tub for two months.
I'm waiting for December, that's when the prices are best.
It's starting to smell a bit.
Fish should be aged, right?
Horvat, you?
Got a jug?
I do.
What's it look like?
Something like this.
But I need a bigger one.
I saw something like that near Old Town Square.
I'll try.
Will you open the elevator for me?
What've you got that's so big?
A tanker.
He wanted to seize it out back while nobody was guarding the cab.
You speak some kind of dialect.
Good thing you stay hydrated and brought that bottle.
Otherwise we wouldn't even have coffee.
That's water from Fiji.
Really?
Those French really do control everything, don't they?
Does your water work at home?
No, but our water's never worked.
Zoran doesn't trust the public water supply.
I see, and what water do you use?
Evian for washing, Perrier for drinking.
That's what I call luxury.
I'm not very happy with it.
Zoran buys it in those little 30cl bottles.
Try flushing the toilet with those.
Where are you?
Where do you think?
They brought a tanker and by the time I stood in line, they drove it away again.
And how am I supposed to wash my hair?
They'll probably bring another one.
But when?
I can't go to bed with wet hair, when I smooth it down I look like an idiot.
So put it in a ponytail.
A ponytail?
For school photos?
Well, sorry.
I'll run to the Vietnamese shop and buy some bottled water.
And wash it right away.
Ivuska, don't buy Magnesia, shampoo doesn't lather in it at all.
Wait, don't be crazy, they'll bring more any minute and it'll be free.
So why doesn't Ivuska go to the hairdresser?
Because they won't bring that for free.
Tomas, school photos are a memory for life.
The last time Iva went to the hairdresser, the bill was also a memory for life.
And I only had it washed and blow-dried.
Why should I pay for something you can do yourself for free?
Next time the drain clogs, you can fix it yourself for free.
I'm not a plumber.
I'm not a hairdresser.
Enough.
We'll just wait for the tanker and you'll look great for the photos.
If not, I'll wear a hat.
Are you trying to threaten me?
I think you look nice in a hat.
My father was an insensitive jerk, but he never said anything this terrible to me.
I'm not visible here either.
And not here either.
Yeah, that photographer puts you behind Kruta on purpose.
But once I have an umbrella, everyone will see where I am.
Everyone will see where the umbrella is.
At least that.
If I don't find water by tonight, I'll stand next to you.
We can both fit behind Kruta.
True.
Look, behind her it's me, Voracek and Ruzicka.
Ruzicka is from class C, right?
He came to bury his Tamagotchi behind Voracek.
Hey.
What is it?
Hey, I'll bring you a hat.
Why?
For our group photo, we'll have matching ones.
Forget it, I'm not taking a photo with you.
No, I meant the three of us with sis.
That's happened before.
And didn't we look great in that photo, right, sis?
You cut Sasa out and then showed the photo to the boys like we were dating.
No, no.
Lexa, you put it on the bulletin board and wrote "Romeo and Juliet" on it.
We were, you know.
We weren't and we won't be.
Ivo, come on, forgive him.
We don't have any photo together with Lexa.
No, not since he cut you out.
Right.
Fine, but you stand in the middle.
The photographer probably wouldn't let me stand in the middle.
Why wouldn't he?
When we took photos the year before last, I was standing between Kropackova and Machova and he asked them if they could kindly stand closer together so there wouldn't be that weird gap.
If you want the photo, fine.
But I'm not standing next to Lexa.
Fine, I'll stand in the middle.
Sasa will stand next to me.
And you next to her?
Without you?
Let's do it that way.
And won't I end up in the middle then?
Sis, just try to picture it.
No, you try to picture it.
Shut up, walrus brain.
Lexa!
You really should shut up, Sasa.
Yeah.
And go eat fish.
What is it this time?
Horvat got me a great jug, but I have to return it by Sunday.
Apparently they'd notice at the Emmaus monastery.
Can you believe that?
This is a shambles.
What?
I was in line again and the tanker drove off again.
Even though it was still full.
Unbelievable.
And this has happened three times already.
French manners.
Want something?
Coffee, tea?
Coffee.
Wait, you have water?
The whole neighborhood is dry.
I know.
Horvat.
And where did he get it?
You have to know which little valve to turn.
That's great, I'll fill up right away.
One liter for fifty crowns.
That's highway robbery.
I'd rather buy bottled water from the Vietnamese shop.
That would offend me.
No, they're terrible.
I charge a kilo per bottle.
But we Czechs and Slovaks are brothers and I wouldn't skin you alive.
I'd rather wait for those French people to get their act together.
I'll give you coffee at a discount.
How much?
Thirty.
It used to be thirty.
Now it's sixty, you're getting it for half price.
These are dark times.
When there's no water.
It won't fit in there.
It can be resized.
Better not, I'd have to redo the whole thing.
Think Ziza will like it?
This?
She'll love it.
Really?
When you get married, I'll paint you one too.
But bigger.
Thanks, uncle.
I hope you won't get married until after your dad lets you drink.
I can handle kefir.
Don't worry, I'm not getting married anytime soon.
Let's hope Lexa can wait.
You two have been an item forever.
I'm not dating Lexa.
Then why do you take romantic photos together?
He showed you one?
Yeah.
It'd be better if you didn't take him anyway.
That makes two of us.
Feel free to live together casually, that's no shame these days.
But I'd think twice about marriage.
I've already made up my mind about that.
Good.
Marriage changes people for the worse.
You think?
Definitely.
When we used to play "drink till you drop" in Branik.
Drink till you drop?
Yeah, till someone passes out.
Metlos, Pitel, Ziza, Sicak, Bufet, Peklo and me.
Sicak was a snake, wasn't he?
He didn't drink either, but he hung out with us.
Then Bufet got married and had no more time for old friends.
His wife banned him from drinking with you?
No, she died giving birth to quintuplets.
He just stopped caring about us.
I just hope Ziza handles it better.
She's rushing it anyway.
She's fifty now.
She's ruining her youth.
Where's the water?
There isn't any.
Tankers are nowhere and people have gone crazy.
Water is being paid for in gold.
Don't exaggerate.
I'm exaggerating?
I saw Pajerova trade her gold earrings for a case of soda.
See how she takes care of things.
You've still got your watch on.
So, Ivo?
What can you do.
I'll have to call Marcelka's salon.
It's called Magnifique Exclusif.
Is it French?
Very much so.
I'll pop over to Rohacovka Street, there's supposed to be one.
A tanker, a new one.
Way to go.
What is this?
Half a liter.
You've had enough, off you go.
Mom, we can't stay anymore.
What do you mean you can't?
We promised Uncle Horvat we'd help him with advertising.
I need to pee.
Go ahead, but no flushing.
Mom, could I get my photo taken with Ivo?
Sure, why not?
I'd also like that photo...
I'd want one too.
Then get one taken.
But I'd like to have it.
Mom doesn't have one.
But Ivo probably wouldn't tell on you.
Could you give me money for the photo?
The photographer would do it for me.
Do you want it to die?
Mom, could I get my photo taken with Ivo?
The pigeon, what about it?
Fine, you can.
Mom!
What?
What about me?
Lexa definitely won't tell on you.
Give me that key.
I've got another one.
I was in Rohacovka.
Look at what won't fit in.
The key.
I'll stack those carp on top of each other.
I can't stand those French people.
They drove the tanker away right under my nose again.
How do you know it was the French?
I saw the driver from behind.
He was probably Corsican.
That's strange.
You should call them.
I tried, but nobody picks up.
All you hear is Edith Piaf playing.
You didn't drink any of it, I hope.
Good, there's fertilizer in it.
If you change your mind, I'll give you the number for my hair salon for Ivuska.
You haven't given it to her yet?
No.
So it's not called Magnifique Exclusif?
No.
She made that up.
It's called Grand Prix.
As in "grand prize"?
More like "grand price."
But their emergency hair service is worth the three thousand.
Three thousand?
I'm going to Horvat.
I'd rather get ripped off by a Czech.
What is it?
Ivo, if I got you the water to wash your hair, would you take a photo with me?
I already told you, you can be in the photo.
Next to you.
It depends on how much water there'd be.
No.
Why?
Now it's not even enough to wash my hands.
How come?
Now it's just enough to wash hair.
No wonder you always wear a hat.
Thanks, Lexa.
There was already shampoo in it.
Doesn't matter.
Thanks, Dad.
Where did you get so much water?
Grandma's bracelet.
I hope this will be the best photo in the world.
I felt like I was in that fairy tale about the hen looking for water.
Well, Mr. Pacovsky.
What?
But hens live in water and hunt penguins, why would they need to look for water?
Son, when I have more strength, I'll explain a few things to you.
Dad, this smells terribly of fish.
Let me see.
Well, it wouldn't fit otherwise, so Uncle Horvat poured the water on the carp.
I'm not washing in that.
Of course not.
You're always making stuff up.
I'm making stuff up?
Dad, I'd smell like a dead fish.
Well no, actually some of those carp were still moving.
You can't tell on the photo anyway.
Well, that's true.
Where are you going?
Guess.
Nowhere, I'm not giving you money.
You already did.
What?
No, no, no, hold on.
That's the food money for the whole month.
I'll fry up some bread and we'll eat fish soup.
Did you see that?
What?
No, I was looking at that walrus outside the window.
What's going on?
Iva just left with my money.
I hope she didn't go get married.
Actually, that's nonsense, Lexa's here.
Iva wants to marry me.
Awesome!
She's going to the hairdresser.
Have you seen him?
He walks like a walrus.
Ozzak, have you been borrowing Lexa's biology textbook by any chance?
No.
Strange.
But we do talk about animals together.
When I have more strength, I'll tell you about them too.
Sure, go ahead.
But it would be like carrying owls to Athens.
Owls to Athens!
What stinks in here?
Water.
I see.
Great that you wash with it so you don't stink.
I'm off.
Where are you going?
Ziza is having her bachelorette party.
Got your name tag?
Yeah.
Fine.
Aren't you overdoing it?
As long as it's running, we're carrying.
You can never be sure with the French.
Not since Munich.
Ivuska.
I'm sure you're the prettiest in your class photo.
But we didn't take photos.
It rained.
Luckily it didn't get wet, Sasa had an umbrella.
Are you telling me you drained us financially for nothing?
What do you mean for nothing?
Everyone's been complimenting it.
I already told you it looks really nice.
Thanks, Dad.
You're back already, it's only September.
Well, the party ended early, but it went great.
The wedding's off!
What?
How come?
Krakora showed up.
He saw Ziza drinking beer with us.
There was a scene, she threw her dentures at him, he picked them up and left.
That's sad, but at least you can help me carry the water upstairs.
No, I'm heading right out.
Where now?
Ziza's having her bachelorette party.
Bye then.
I'll be back.
I'm not so sure, it might go on a while.
Later.
So, can I?
Yeah.
But you said there'd be three of you.
I'm going home.
Nowhere.
Well, if you want that gap in there.